I told you I’d be back

April 4, 2012 at 12:02 am Leave a comment

Damn my memory I have completely forgotten about my WordPress password. That, coupled with undeniable laziness, and this blog went kaput for eight months.


James Cameron’s Titanic (1997) in 3D is debuting in theaters worldwide, to commemorate the tragic sinking of the mega-liner a century ago, in 1912.

Below is an essay on Cameron’s opus I wrote for the college paper in 2006. Pardon the obvious angst. I was young and bleeding pretentious.

(published in the 2006 June issue of The Benildean)

Sampling overpriced latté one dog day afternoon triggered momentary annoyance over everything for me. My unfortunate item of ridicule: The Da Vinci Code movie poster nailed atop a waiting shed peopled with coeds in dirty white. I resolved that The Da Vinci Code is an oversell which brought me to another painfully overrated film—James Cameron’s 1997 shipboard romance blockbuster, Titanic.

If you ponder on it, Titanic and The Da Vinci Code practically bear no difference from one another. Both films are overrated. Dan Brown’s The Da Vinci Code, translated in 40 languages, primarily in hardcover, and was released in the United States under Doubleday Publications in the year 2003, is a worldwide bestseller with over 60.5 million copies. Three years later, Anchor Books released 5 million paperback copies of the book, and Broadway Books released 200,000 paperback copies of The Da Vinci Code Special Illustrated Edition. I was already seriously considering putting a barf bag over my head when I learned that a computer game version of the book published by 2k Games was premiered May 13th of 2006, which is playable on both the Playstation 2 and Xbox.

Titanic’s popularity had also escalated to the point of hopeless stupidity. Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On invaded the airways for months on end that by its sixth week of non-stop airplay, the neighborhood dogs began to yowl in apparent misery. I, myself, nearly succumbed to the idea of romancing a ledge when radio stations came up with a re-mixed version of the song. Some genius probably thought that inserting the cheesy dialogues of the about-to-drown Jack and Rose in between chorus lines was pretty. It wouldn’t surprise me the least if Celine Dion socks that genius with a microphone head if she learned of his odious opus. Now, I am eagerly awaiting Hans Zimmer’s Kyrie for the Magdalene with inserted Robert Langdon and Sophie Neveu dialogues: This is the Bois de Boulogne?; We must find anozzer way!; I’ve never met a girl who knew that much about a cryptex…

Please, someone, gag me with a spoon.

Both Titanic and The Da Vinci Code also drew a multitude of film aficionados on its first screening day. Never mind the sorry fact that movie theaters hiked up the ticket price (minus the fresh theater floors and all). I know somebody who had seen Titanic sixteen times; the same person resolved to see The Da Vinci Code more than the flashlight-bearing movie theater attendant.

Another similarity both movies share is the purported legitimacy of facts presented in the storylines. In fairness to Cameron, Titanic is based on an actual luxury super liner, the RMS Titanic which sank April 12th of the year 1912. Although Rose Bukater and Jack Dawson were fictional characters, the movie features the real ship chief, Captain Edward John Smith, and one of Titanic’s most prominent passengers, the Countess of Rothes. The definite number of people who perished in the Titanic mishap disclosed in the movie (1,523, according to an investigation by the U.S. Senate) is also accurate and so is the cause of the majority of deaths which is hypothermia.

However, the movie presents a scene or two that is later to be discovered nonexistent in the real Titanic catastrophe. In the film, Nearer My God to Thee is the last song played by the Titanic band led by Wallace Hartley. However Harold Bride, the wireless operator who survived the sinking claimed that it was actually Songe d’Automne, a popular ragtime song at the time. Another thing, the movie featured a three-man band; the actual Titanic band was composed of eight musicians.

Now, as I contemplate whether or not to discuss the legitimacy of facts ofThe Da Vinci Code and my personal opinions on this Ron Howard movie masterpiece, I could almost hear the conservative fuddy-duddies in my head chanting “Sacrilege!”.

Mind you, I have been accused of being a bleeding heretic because of one published opinion article. And because my parents acknowledge this accusation as somewhat true and people now see me as an atheist in baby pink, I resolved to shut my trap and fix a halo above my head. 

However, I guess it won’t hurt to spout a sentiment or two about this popularly supposed scandalous film. One, believe those who are seeking the truth; doubt those who find it. Two, respect for religion is the duty of all civilized human beings.

With the creators of Titanic and The Da Vinci Code leering in joy over the incredible success of their blockbusters, I can’t help but be disgusted with the idea that with these two films, we are sinking Titanic and selling Jesus’ head over and over again. An overkill, if you may.

“Like throwing up. No, actually I shouldn’t say that. No, actually I do feel like throwing up.” – Kate Winslet’s when asked about her take on Celine Dion’s My Heart Will Go On


Entry filed under: film.

I want to go home Sleepless in Saigon

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